May 5th 2005

With absolutely zero disrespect to the families and memory of Allison Krause, Bill Schroder, Jeff Miller and Sandy Scherer dear reader, I am now shifting gears and introducing what I found to be an incredible and at times quite humorous experience 35 years later.... This web log (now colloquially combined in the single word BLOG) of this remarkable daymodelling on 42nd St
Does the photo make you think "Richie" (the role played by Adrien Brody in Summer of Sam)? Well Don't! But seriously folks yesterday I was a model on 42nd street, NYC.Unlike Adrien Brody however, I am not an Adonis and I did not take my clothes off. With the help of Ronald McDonald, West Side Wendy, and Destiny's Child however, I had an extrordinary morning on Wednesday, May 4th,2005 that I think is worth retelling. Hopefully you will too as I recount my innaugeral (and likely final)venture into the world of modelling."Are you with the models?" one of the 30 or so security goons asked me? "I AM ONE OF THE MODELS," was my accurate reply. Here is how it happened.... In case you haven't heard, I am not presently employed on a full-time basis, and was considering taking on part-time work as a limmo driver or some shit, but graciously my significant other (and likely next wife) thought that instead, I might want to work periodically for her. I've learned a hell of a lot and truthfully haven't minded being a casting assistant for CBS News Productions (Who will be the next food network star?) or Brisun media (YES (Yankees Entertainment and Sports) Ultimate Road Trip). It turns out that sweetie of mine is the go-to-gal for various film and television productions all over the big Apple (and sometimes LA too if she needs her hair cut but that's another story).I was an average looking White GuyAnyway, McDonald's held a multi-media press event yesterday in New York City (in their 42nd St "store") announcing the launch of their new product, The Apple and Walnut fruit salad. The main event was Destiny's child, but the show opened with seven "models" clapping hands on a stage as the "house" drums boomed and people chanted Heyyyyy Ho oh! or something like that. Of course the Politically correct marketing people at Mickey D's didn't just pick anyone to be the models. They needed 2 hispanics, 1 African-American, 2 hotties, and an average looking white guy. That was me.7:00 AM : Call time for the models
Alysia was one of the hotties here she is with her husband David. We cabbed down from 80th and Columbus for our 7 AM call. Incidentally, she played a key role on the big screen (as the bride)in a recent mega hit movie. She was asked on the site of the press release yesterday to sign an autograph reading "you suck upside down and sideways".Ronald McDonald is a ball breaking clown! (and we love him!)I've met some celebrities in my day (and why not since I'm a model?). Needy Chevy Chase told me that he came up with the idea of Spinal Tap, Bernie Parent flashed Stanley Cup championship rings upon introduction to me(how cool is that?), Mike Wallace told me I look good! And below I am pictured with Lou Reed. This one beats them all! The highlight of the day was when the "model" before me forgot her cues and frantically attempted to hand signal Sue backstage for directions precisely at the moment she was due on "the catwalk".She pointed right and left looking worried and shrugging her shoulders hoping for an indication....Sue just pointed at the stage as in "Get the fuck out there right now! but between Sue and the stage was Ronald simultaneously pointing up, down, left, right, and diagonally in all directions totally mocking the bewildered model...Equally precious was the icon transfixed while pecking away at his blackberry before the show...Way to Go Ronald.....you are the bomb!Incidentally we hear he makes 250k a year just for being Ronald! Also in attendance and endorsement

I guess if the allstar athlete, Venus Williams, and allstar fit, glamourous singer, Byonce Knowles (Destiny's Child) are endorsing this salad, It must be truly healthy!This is where I really feel like not only an average white guy, but an old white guy...one of the "other models" told me his heart was pounding as they walked by....I know they're really famous, but I don't get it...truth is, I couldn't name a destiny's child song if you put a gun to my head....but apparently they are as big as it gets right now... I guess I now know how my parents felt about Zeppelin in 1977.